Quirks and All

Isn't it cool how looking back at where we came from or what we've been through motivates us to keep moving forward? Our past can be a cruel reminder of our shortcomings. Or, it can be a springboard to catapult us into our best and most amazing self.

I came across something I scribbled down last year. It was nothing spectacular really, just my thoughts at the end of a very long, emotional week. The thing is though, that it is so profound to me. It was then. Even more so now. Maybe it's because I'm another year older. Maybe it's because I'm getting more comfortable with myself - My quirkiness and brokeness and confidence and shortcomings and strengths and personality.
My Who I Am-ness.
My Me-ness.
My Bree-ness.

So, here it is. I remember this moment like it happened this morning. My husband is one of the most amazing, gentle, and patient humans I know. Our story is incredible and I'll tell you about it sometime, but for now, here is where I was at this exact time last year....

....I've had an incredibly emotional week. The events, some expected and some surprising, left me very reflective. I've been found wanting in areas of growth, but my cup runneth over as far as love is concerned.

My husband, Trey, has proven himself over and over and over again as the lover and keeper and resolute protector of my heart.
At one point, I was questioning where I "fit". I know I have a strong personality and with such a "gift" (that's what we'll call it), comes lots of opportunities to be misunderstood on some level. I usually need to be explained. In some instances, damage control needs to be done. In any event, it's usually my mouth that does the confusing, leaving my heart wide open to be blindsided.

Such was this instance that caused me to question why God made me with such a personality that can be misunderstood. I'm a bit of a "square peg" or whatever the saying is.
After reassuring me that I'm a gift, and after questioning him for the 100th time, Trey's most vulnerable, honest, and raw response was--

"You BELONG with me. You FIT with me. That's all that matters."

That came out of the mouth of my husband. My best friend. The ONE who knows me the best from the inside out. The one who chose me. The one who KEEPS choosing me. The one who fights for and with me. The one who sometimes misunderstands me, but seeks to find understanding, not just for his sake, but mine.
His heart knows mine.
And I know his.

And we understand each other.

And I love how my hand and heart fit beautifully, comfortably, safely inside his.

There's no one else I'd rather fit with....

....There is still no other person that understands me more intimately than this man. He knows me and gets me. On so many deep levels.

I'm getting comfortable with myself now.
I'm ok with who I am becoming and sometimes more surprisingly, I'm ok with who I'm not becoming.
I'm thankful that I'm allowed to be me. God allows me to be who I am. So much so, that he put me with a man who is comfortable with and celebrates all of me. I'm loved. Not just by a man who "gets" me, but by a God who designed me. He doesn't make mistakes, not even accidental, quirky ones!

If I've learned anything this year, it's that it is ok to embrace the quirky. And just be who I was designed to be.
I don't think anyone else could handle it.

And nobody else could handle being you, so you do it.

Quirks and all!