I moved! And I changed my blog name to The Shift...

Because the shift just got real and it's eventually going to hit the fan.

Head on over to https://theshiftjustgotreal.com/ and check it out.

The Upside Down

A year has gone by since I've written anything from and for myself.

An entire year.

You know why? Because I've been too scared.

Too scared to let anyone know my thoughts. Too scared to let anyone really in on what I've been feeling. And I sure as heck was too scared to write anything down because that meant that my thoughts were no longer thoughts, but words.

And you can't take words back because words have great power.
And with great power comes great responsibility, right?

But, here's the thing--
What happens when you have something to say, but you know you shouldn't because anything you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of social opinion?

And here's THE thing--

How will we respond to situations that arise that we have no control over because God is the one orchestrating everything? What do we do when God's plans overtake us and pull the proverbial rug out from underneath us? 

Not too long ago, at the close of last year, I overheard someone ask my husband, Trey, how 2018 treated us. He gave the expected Southern pat reply of "good".

I accidentally laughed out loud...An actual guffaw.

Because 2018 kicked our butts. 

To add to this farce, we were heading into the place that catapulted us into the Upside Down.


And by the 'Upside Down', I mean the Stranger Things edition, where there's an alternate version of the world we live in, it's just messed up, dark, and scary...You think you know where you are, but NOPE, you have no stinkin' clue when, why, and how you got there.

The cool thing, though, is that I vividly remember hearing, in a time of prayer in Oct of 2017, that it was time to "dig your heels in, brace yourself, and lean into" whatever is coming.

We didn't know that we would be living in the Upside Down for most of 2018.

Suffice it to say that we were blindsided by an unexpected job change.
It was not by choice. It was not our idea. It was not on our radar. It was not in our plans.

We heard it called "stepping down" or "stepping out of the boat".

Truth is, we didn't feel like we were stepping out of just any little boat.
It felt like we were walking the plank off of a pirate's ship.
One day we were part of a tight-knit crew, the next we were blindfolded, gagged, and walking the plank. We were tied together, The Reynolds Tribe, but walking the plank nevertheless.

We found ourselves free falling into some tumultuous waters.



But you know Who's always in the water, waiting?
Jesus.

And you know Who's idea it was to get out into the water?
Jesus.

He met us there.

Of course, he did! He's Jesus. He's supposed to meet us in the water, save us, and put us back in the boat. That's what he did with Peter, right?
(Matt 14:22-36; Mark 6:45-56; John 6:16-24)

Except, He didn't do that for us.
He knew something we didn't...

That boat wasn't meant for us long term.

You know what Jesus did do? 
He went into the Upside Down with us.

He's the God of Peace. Of Triumph and Victory. Of Overcoming.
But He's also God in Chaos. In loss and defeat. In disappointment.

He's the Peaceful, Still Waters.
And the Powerful, Forceful Undertow.

Just like it was for the disciples getting in the boat that night, so it was for us. The whole thing was orchestrated by God, Himself.

He knew that He was going to meet them in the middle of the dark night. He knew that they were only going to be in the boat for a little while. He knew that Peter was going to jump out and go run to meet him without thinking for a second that he would sink, only to start thinking and then actually sinking. He knew storms of life would come. He knew the waters would look rough. He knew that they, especially Peter, would have a crisis of faith. And it was His idea to stick them all in that boat and let them go through it. And it was His plan to be right there with them the whole time. 

So He did for us.

We wrestled with our faith, knowing that God is good, but wondering why we were brought to a place of uncertainty after being so certain we finally belonged somewhere. We watched as friends left. We had to field questions from those wondering why we were making the choices they thought we were making of our own volition. We had our own question that we knew would never be answered because there simply were no answers to be given. We danced a dance to which we didn't know the steps. We watched our kids as they wrestled with their own questions that we couldn't answer.

There were lots of whys, whens, hows, and what-ifs coming from all sides, but no answers.
Looking back, a year later, there's still not a lot of clarity.

That being said, because of our time in the Upside Down, we have a deeper appreciation for being right-side up.

We saw how God breathed even more of His life-force into our lungs while we were under there. We saw how, even in the darkness, we were never fully blind, because "By your words, I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path."  Psalm 119:105 MSG 
We realized just how intimately Jesus understood what we were going through because He went through much, much worse and never utter a word to defend himself.

Yeah, 2018 kicked our collective Reynolds Tribe butt, BUT God did what only He can do and turned it around for our good.

Lessons learned from experience often lend themselves to hard-earned wisdom.

We have a few scars and are still trying to readjust our filter settings while reacclimating to the sunlight, but it's nice to be back in the world of the living and writing.

It's always nice to know that we've not traveled to the Upside Down alone. I'm sure we've all been there at least once in our lives. I don't think it's a place unique to special people, but I do think we all go into it and come out of it with unique stories and lessons learned.

Have you been the Upside Down?
Do you have any hard-earned wisdom to pass on?
What experiences have shaped and grown you as a person? As a family?
Do you need a place to tell your story?
Leave your wisdom in the comments.


I have more to say, but I'll leave it for another day.
Not a year-from-now day, I promise.

Grace Is(n't)

Grace is not a license. 
Unless it's a license to power up and live above the excuses that lock us into living an ordinary life. 

Grace is living the extraordinary life.

Living in the realm above the commonplace. 

The place where power catapults us into living beyond our human capabilities. 


Grace is loving like Jesus did. Grace is taking up our cross. Grace hung on a tree to conquer sin, not condone it. 

Grace is not making excuses when the inexcusable is happening before our eyes. 
Grace is not confusion. Grace is the clarity we need to live and love in high definition. 

Grace does not condemn, and it won't let us stay chained to the wall of the cave of condemnation. 

Grace will not allow us to stay trapped in our self-righteous prison of justification when the doors have been busted wide open. 

Grace does not accept mediocrity. 
Grace doesn't speak confusion. 
Grace will not translate into complacency. 

Grace is solid. 
And fluid. 
But it will never allow us to slide down a slippery slope. 
Grace is not greasy; it's gripping. 

Grace is strength in our weakness. 
Grace is dignity in our wretchedness. 
Grace is integrity. It's meekness. 
A choice. 

Grace is God's voice when we feel like we're drowning in a sea of (everyone else's) bad decision. 
Grace does not excuse our abuser and it does not grant us deniability in abusing others. 

To abuse grace is to violate the One who extended His arms on a cross to give it. 

Grace is a way out. A way up. A way through. 

But NEVER a way back down. 

Grace will never lead us backward unless back is where we left ourselves. 

Grace always finds us right in the middle of where we are. 
We are saved by it. 
We are loved by it. 
We are led by it. 

Grace bled out power and authority and peace on a cross. 

We live in it because of it. 

Light It Up

Put this in your I-guess-all-that we can-do-now-is-pray pipe and smoke it! Pray FIRST! Always pray first!

"The devil has no ability to contain prayer. Prayer is spiritually nuclear in nature; it is the raw material of God and His people. Prayer is out of satan's influence. He has no power to warp or influence a prayer's trajectory to God's throne after it has been prayed. Once a prayer is unleashed, it bounces around eternity in perpetuity, burning before the throne of God like incense.

This is why prayer is so spiritually dangerous for satan. It supersedes the limitations of a mortal world. Prayer is immortal. It has no boundaries and no marker lines. Prayer holds ultimate potential. The best the devil can hope for is that you don't pray. And much of his strategy is to discourage you from praying at all, as a prayer never prayed has zero chance of ever being answered."
-Adam Stadtmiller

The reference was Revelation 5:8
I read it in The Message

We're in the middle of praying for some pretty serious stuff over here at The Reynolds Tribe. What are you praying for today, in this season? What would happen if we join our prayers together? What would happen if we mixed and sparked our faith like a spiritual nuclear reactor?

Holy Awesome Power!
That stuff is good!

Let me know what you're praying for in the comments. We'll join forces!

The Time Has Come

I knew this was coming. I knew it from the moment Trey KNEW he was called to missions. I knew it would be only a matter of time before the kids would want—no, NEED—to go with him. I knew the years would go by in a blink and a breath and I would find myself not only praying for Trey's protection and provision and purpose but for theirs.

The time has come.   

I'm both honored and humbled, and if I'm being honest, a little scared. I've learned that part of missions is ok.

Being scared.
It's not the absence of faith. It isn't. It's the thing that pushes you to pray harder with more intentionality and with less distraction. Being scared makes us HAVE to trust the One who called us into the situations that scare us in the first place. He knows what He's doing. He knows where we're going. He knows the plans He has for us are NOT to harm us, but to give us a hope and a future (Jer 29:11). He handles us with care, knowing how fragile we are, also fully knowing that we won't break if we stay nestled in the palm of his hand.

He just wants us to know it.

Like a loving, fierce, wise daddy who holds the hand of his child while crossing a busy street knows that his little one is safe because he's leading them and not letting go, we can know that our Heavenly Daddy will do the same with us.
And, our kids.

I'm finding myself not liking that last part. In the depths of my soul, I KNOW that to be the truth. God has never let us down or tricked us or proven Himself incapable of taking care of us. He's never once given us a stone for a piece of bread or a snake instead of a fish. (Matt 7:9-11) He ALWAYS gives us His very best. And, He always calls us to His very best plan for our lives. It's our choice as to whether or not we don't do it, or do it, even if we're scared.

The funny thing is, that my kids aren't scared at all. They are called to these projects, and they know it. I know it too. It just seems to be too soon for my mama's heart. To watch them grow and flourish and hear God's voice and calling for themselves is an awe-inspiring, deeply profound process. It keeps me up at night, wrapped up in some pretty intense conversations with their Creator and Caller. There are some places that I simply don't want them to go.

"Who's holding them..." is the question I hear, "Is it you or me?"

I so desperately want it to be me, but I'm not big enough and I would inevitably make their world too small if I was to hold them for forever. It reminds me of some dialogue between an unknowingly wise, albeit mentally challenged fish and a well-meaning, overly protective, fearful parent—

Overprotective parent: "I promised I'd never let anything happen to him."
Wisdom: "Hmm. That's a funny thing to promise."
Parent: "What?"
Wisdom: "Well, you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun..."

Yeah, wow.

I can't never let anything happen to my kids because nothing would ever happen to them.

Thanks, fish.

And, thanks God, for using that movie to remind me of your Word and promises. Something about being "strong and courageous" because He will "never leave us or forsake us" comes to mind. (Deut 31:6)

So, here I am, at the top of 2018, looking into a year that will, without a doubt, be a year of firsts for me. Especially when it comes to letting my kids go. Literally halfway around the world. And a year of firsts for them. Literally getting to go halfway around the world. I knew this was coming. I'm still getting used to the idea of it.

God is ok with that. I just keep swimming towards him.
And, I DON'T want to talk about "the swirling vortex of terror" that comes in the form of mama bear-dom and the what ifs.
I'm still working on swimming out of that.

Do you have any advice? What are your experiences with letting your kids go? On missions trips, away to college, to summer camp, exchange programs, moving out of the house... Any/All of those are forms of letting them go. Leave me your words of wisdom in the comment section. We can be praying for each other. I know I could use it!

2017 Year End Review

Every year, I do an year end review of sorts. It's nice to be reminded of what I walked through and where I'm at now. I've come a long way from where I started, but I'm nowhere near where I'm going to end up.

Here is 2017, in numbers and words.

365 – number of days in the past year.

12 – number of months.

4 – number of seasons (except in TN where we have Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, Christmas, and Holy Crap, I Thought This Was December, How is it STILL SUMMER, and OK, just go ahead and open the windows–no wait don't, there's a tornado, and There It Is! SNOW.... Wait, no it's gone.... 70 degrees and Ice Storms back to Summer...)

3 – number of biological kiddos who get to call me mom.

A dozen and counting – number of kiddos I get to call mine.

10,000,000 – number of times I messed up.

10,000,001 – number of times I was forgiven

Somewhere between 1 and 10,000 – number of times I got life wrong

Somewhere between 1 and 10,000 – number of times I got it right

Way more than 365 – number of kisses kissed.

Way more than 365 – number of hugs hugged.

About a billion – number of prayers prayed.

Daily – frequency of miracles witnessed. 

4 – number of blogs I wrote (including this one), thereby awakening a passion and calling I need to develop, foster, and cultivate. 

I WILL do better in the year (and years) to come in funneling the words that travel from my heart to head to print. I MUST be more disciplined. 

2 – (up from one last year) number of Audience of One Productions I've been in, thereby reigniting a passion and dream I though was long dead. 

And this time, I went a little bigger.

I will be more intentional in seeking out opportunities and availing myself to building, and walking in, the confidence I know is in me to do better and go bigger on the stage. It's in me. It always has been. I will not allow myself to think I'm less than what I am... which is READY. I'M BACK!

1 – REAL writing job that has allowed me to learn and grow and create. Which, in turn, has led to multiple leads and other work. The opportunity to do what I never knew I could; that honestly, I was scared of, came out of seemingly nowhere. I know that's not the case. Those seemingly out-of-nowhere instances happen a lot more now that they don't go unnoticed in my life. From nowhere, I'm going somewhere.

And, I like where I'm heading. 

1 – amazing, humble, gentle, supportive, risk taking, always stable, rock of a husband who has walked with me through the 20+ years leading up to this one. 

Lots – of friends, new and old, who are choosing to journey with me. 

2017 challenged me. It was messy and grand. It was full of surprises and the mundane. I cannot and will not say I loved every minute of it. I am not the same as when it opened. I'm grateful for its final curtain. It was a good run. I was not left wanting.

How has 2017 treated you? What are your hopes for 2018? What are you going to do to see them come to fruition? 

My prayer is that we don't live the same year twice.

2018 has the bar set high.  Bring it!

Rule Breakers

I'm sitting at a coffee shop. Listening to Of Mice And Men and Vance Joy. Drinking a caramel macchiato (the American Starbucks-y version, not the authentic one I hope to have when I grow up).
And writing a blog. That's a grown-up thing to do, right?

I'm supposed to be "working". Writing real stuff. Important stuff about pediatric root canals and geriatric dental issues and Prosthodontics, but I'm not.

Instead, I'm watching my first born sit with a group of 20-somethings discussing art with her favorite artist that she's been following on Instagram for a while. I'm in a corner, trying my best to not look creeper-ish, while in total awe and denial that my little girl is almost 17 and in her last year of high school. She has friends who are in their 20s. She has a real job. She makes to-do lists. Completes them. Then makes more lists. Then completes those. She bought her own vehicle. She pays for her own gas and insurance. She pays for her classes that she takes at the local university. I still haven't taught her anything. I think she's learned pretty much everything on her own.

She's better at adulting than me. Actually, I think she was born adulting. She's way beyond her years.
I'm 40 and I THINK I'm just now learning how to adult. Maybe.

I've also been in a little bit of a foggy place coming to grips with the fact that my middle child is 13 and in the throes of being a 13-year-old boy. He's handling it better than I am. He's a good kid. Kind. Respectful. Generous. Polite. Smart. Funny. And, if I'm being honest, he's becoming quite the handsome guy. He looks like his dad.

But, he acts like me.

Sometimes that's not so fun for me. Or, him. We clash on some things because we're both very strong personalities. That's not necessarily bad. It's just something we get to navigate and figure out how and when to concede and compromise. It's a process and a journey, for sure, but there isn't any other kid on the planet that I'd rather be on this road with. He's a good human. And, good humans do extraordinary things.

There's also the 10-year-old knower of all things interesting and trivial. He's an observer. He watches. And opines. He has a HUGE vocabulary and understands deeper things than a 10-year-old should. He's an old soul. He's a fan of gardening and 1000 piece puzzles and he's always cold. He's going to sit behind a computer some day and probably make a lot of zeros on his paychecks. He'll do smartical things and make the world smarter too.

People tell me that I have "good kids'. I do. Most of the time.
One woman, whom I deeply respect, told me on a Sunday at church that I have great kids. I told her to text me that on a random Thursday at 2 pm because I might need the reminder.
She did. The following Thursday at 2:04.
I needed the reminder.

Here's the thing. It's kind of a big thing. Or, maybe not, but whatever.
It's the thing about how teenagers are supposed to be angst ridden and disrespectful and terrible.
And, the other thing...The one about how we're not supposed to be their friends, just their parent.

Who made those rules? Why do we have to follow them? Why do otherwise respectful, kind, good kids have to become horrible hermity hooligans when they hit 13? Why do we as parents have to stop liking our kids and just start punishing and disciplining the spirit and passion out of them?

I'm by no means a childhood development expert. Not a psychologist. Not formally educated on the subject. So, my opinions and questions are exactly that. Opinions and questions.

The only school I've been trained in is the one I created by literally making my own students and test subjects. They have no clue that I'm making up the curricula as I go. Everyone is alive and for the most part, we all like each other, so I think we're doing pretty good.
We had conversations early on in pubescence that just because there's this unwritten rule that they had to be ridiculously rebellious teenage mutant creaturesque versions of themselves, that it didn't mean they had to follow it. One of them told me that if they were going to rebel, they might as well rebel against that. I'm on board with that kind of rebellion.

Some rules were meant to be broken. That's definitely one of them.
And, there's the other one about not being their friend. I broke that one too.

Please don't get me wrong. We have our DAYS. Holy Lord who created emotions and growing pains, do we have our days, but it's just that. A bad day. Sometimes, not even a day. Maybe a few hours. Or, a morning. It happens.
We yell. We scream. We cry. We let our words get away from us.
And slam doors. And cuss. And want to run away.

That last part is usually just me.

Then, we deal. We pray raw prayers. We apologize. We forgive. We move on.
We refuse to live there. Even if we camp out there over night, WE REFUSE TO LIVE THERE.

There's no reason to dig a pit to which you know you will go back and willingly hurl yourself into.

I'm not an expert. And, if you're still reading, I sure do wish that I could give you a cookie and some sort of drink or reward for letting me go on this long.

My take away from raising "good kids" so far is that good kids don't just happen. I cannot tell you how many conversations that I've had with their Creator about how He designed them and why on earth He thought that it was a good idea that I mom them. I fail. A whole stinkin' lot. If it wasn't for their dad being as close to Superman as non-super hero-ly possible and The Creator and Lover of their souls and mine, I'd probably be a staple on the nightly news. Prayer works, y'all. It does. We're all living proof of that.

Friendship and breaking the rules helps too.

Thank You, Tiny Infant Baby Jesus for growing up into a teenager who grew into a man whoso loved the world that He gave Himself. Help me help my kids grow into the teenagers that grow into revolutionaries that change the world. Their world. My world. And the world you gave them to play, live, and work in.

Amen.


What have been your experiences with your teenagers? What are your concerns? What are your victories? Failures? Advice?

Leave your stories in the comments.