An entire year.
You know why? Because I've been too scared.
Too scared to let anyone know my thoughts. Too scared to let anyone really in on what I've been feeling. And I sure as heck was too scared to write anything down because that meant that my thoughts were no longer thoughts, but words.
And you can't take words back because words have great power.
And with great power comes great responsibility, right?
But, here's the thing--
What happens when you have something to say, but you know you shouldn't because anything you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of social opinion?
And here's THE thing--
How will we respond to situations that arise that we have no control over because God is the one orchestrating everything? What do we do when God's plans overtake us and pull the proverbial rug out from underneath us?
Not too long ago, at the close of last year, I overheard someone ask my husband, Trey, how 2018 treated us. He gave the expected Southern pat reply of "good".
I accidentally laughed out loud...An actual guffaw.
Because 2018 kicked our butts.
To add to this farce, we were heading into the place that catapulted us into the Upside Down.
And by the 'Upside Down', I mean the Stranger Things edition, where there's an alternate version of the world we live in, it's just messed up, dark, and scary...You think you know where you are, but NOPE, you have no stinkin' clue when, why, and how you got there.
The cool thing, though, is that I vividly remember hearing, in a time of prayer in Oct of 2017, that it was time to "dig your heels in, brace yourself, and lean into" whatever is coming.
We didn't know that we would be living in the Upside Down for most of 2018.
Suffice it to say that we were blindsided by an unexpected job change.
It was not by choice. It was not our idea. It was not on our radar. It was not in our plans.
We heard it called "stepping down" or "stepping out of the boat".
Truth is, we didn't feel like we were stepping out of just any little boat.
It felt like we were walking the plank off of a pirate's ship.
One day we were part of a tight-knit crew, the next we were blindfolded, gagged, and walking the plank. We were tied together, The Reynolds Tribe, but walking the plank nevertheless.
We found ourselves free falling into some tumultuous waters.
But you know Who's always in the water, waiting?
Jesus.
And you know Who's idea it was to get out into the water?
Jesus.
He met us there.
Of course, he did! He's Jesus. He's supposed to meet us in the water, save us, and put us back in the boat. That's what he did with Peter, right?
(Matt 14:22-36; Mark 6:45-56; John 6:16-24)
Except, He didn't do that for us.
He knew something we didn't...
That boat wasn't meant for us long term.
You know what Jesus did do?
He went into the Upside Down with us.
He's the God of Peace. Of Triumph and Victory. Of Overcoming.
But He's also God in Chaos. In loss and defeat. In disappointment.
He's the Peaceful, Still Waters.And the Powerful, Forceful Undertow.
Just like it was for the disciples getting in the boat that night, so it was for us. The whole thing was orchestrated by God, Himself.
He knew that He was going to meet them in the middle of the dark night. He knew that they were only going to be in the boat for a little while. He knew that Peter was going to jump out and go run to meet him without thinking for a second that he would sink, only to start thinking and then actually sinking. He knew storms of life would come. He knew the waters would look rough. He knew that they, especially Peter, would have a crisis of faith. And it was His idea to stick them all in that boat and let them go through it. And it was His plan to be right there with them the whole time.
So He did for us.
We wrestled with our faith, knowing that God is good, but wondering why we were brought to a place of uncertainty after being so certain we finally belonged somewhere. We watched as friends left. We had to field questions from those wondering why we were making the choices they thought we were making of our own volition. We had our own question that we knew would never be answered because there simply were no answers to be given. We danced a dance to which we didn't know the steps. We watched our kids as they wrestled with their own questions that we couldn't answer.
There were lots of whys, whens, hows, and what-ifs coming from all sides, but no answers.
Looking back, a year later, there's still not a lot of clarity.
That being said, because of our time in the Upside Down, we have a deeper appreciation for being right-side up.
We saw how God breathed even more of His life-force into our lungs while we were under there. We saw how, even in the darkness, we were never fully blind, because "By your words, I can see where I’m going; they throw a beam of light on my dark path." Psalm 119:105 MSG
We realized just how intimately Jesus understood what we were going through because He went through much, much worse and never utter a word to defend himself.
Yeah, 2018 kicked our collective Reynolds Tribe butt, BUT God did what only He can do and turned it around for our good.
Lessons learned from experience often lend themselves to hard-earned wisdom.
We have a few scars and are still trying to readjust our filter settings while reacclimating to the sunlight, but it's nice to be back in the world of the living and writing.
Have you been the Upside Down?
Do you have any hard-earned wisdom to pass on?
What experiences have shaped and grown you as a person? As a family?
Do you need a place to tell your story?
Leave your wisdom in the comments.
I have more to say, but I'll leave it for another day.
Not a year-from-now day, I promise.
